i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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