Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just want nice things and good sex
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
