I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize