I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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