Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
