Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
