i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
