i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Please, let me fuck your mom
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
