you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I need moral support for this bender
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
