What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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