Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize