Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
