areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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