My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Duck Duck Cougar?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize