What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
