Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize