Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
