She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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