There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
