Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
