exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
