do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
