your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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