SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
