you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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