Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
