your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
