does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
