Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
