How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
