Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
