So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
