We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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