He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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