i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
