Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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