so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
