By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
