do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
