Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
