You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
