Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you would pick up someone in the library
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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