you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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