Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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