i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
