He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
