I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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