Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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