she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
