East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
