How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
