Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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