i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
