I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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