forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize