Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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