i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You pole danced in your parka.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
