Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
