98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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