You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't deserve a penis
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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