ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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