she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
