I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
