Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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