if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
operation harelip BJ is a go
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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